Old Mexican Cheese Ball

I would be remiss if I did not post this recipe exactly as it was given to us a long, long, LONG time ago from a previous employee from our building.  He was a riot.  He kept things stirred up.   He had us rolling in the floor….literally.   There was never a dull moment when Holley Midgley was in the building, or anywhere for that fact.  He has since retired and now lives in my dream place… on top of a mountain….bliss!

This is a great recipe, and one we enjoyed many times.  I haven’t made it in a long, long, LONG time.  I don’t know why except maybe it has meat in it and I don’t eat most meats.   But you can’t go wrong with cheese balls. Everyone loves this one.   And the recipe he wrote was too good not to post.  Thanks, Holley, for the recipe, the laughs, and this wonderful, funny written recipe.  I shall post it just as it was given to us.   

But make it, as it is wonderfully, delicious, easy, and a great flavor.   Enjoy the recipe, and the story.  (you will be able to tell he was a journalist/public relations sort of guy)



Recipe for Old Mexican Cheese Ball……by H. Midgley (from an old Mexican recipe)

Start with one cup old Mexican (just kidding).

But seriously folks, procure 2 bars of Philadelphia cream cheese from the store, or make your own.  It helps if you can find really old cheese.   Unwrap the bars and throw them violently in the bottom of a medium sized bowl.  This is important, sine Mexicans are a violent and passionate race.

Dice or chop or tear up a bunch of fresh green onions and throw them violently in the bowl with the cheese stuff you already threw in there.  Go and find some thinly sliced ham (thickly sliced ham will work too, but genuine Old Mexicans always use the real thin kind).  After you find the ham, slice it up into little 1/4 inch squares.  Throw all the little squares on top of the other stuff mentioned above.  Then, sprinkle a wad of garlic salt about the size of a thimble onto the above.  Also, sprinkle a wad of Accent powder about the size of three pencil erasers onto the above. Now, go get somebody to kneed it up for you, unless you’re not particular about getting your hands all messy.  Little kids are very good at this.  But make them wash their hands, cause you don’t know what the little tykes have been playing with.  In fact, go get what ever they’ve been playing with and throw that in there, too.

Go to the store and buy some pecans that have been torn up into little pieces.  I know it’s hard to believe, but you can actually buy them already cut up and everything.  I was amazed!  Pour these little pieces out on the floor or the counter top, whichever is convenient.   Take the cheese/garlic/ham/onion blob, kind of roll it into something resembling and Old Mexican, a pony, or a little monkey and then roll it around on top of the smashed up nuts.  Again, you may want to get someone else to do this cause it’s gross.

Now, put the finished product on a small plate, tarpaulin, or slab of wood.  This makes a nice presentation.   Better yet, in keeping with the Old Mexican theme, put the whole thing on top of a donkey and lead it to the party.  This will impress people.

Finally, go into the back yard and have a friend hose you down like a mad dog, cause you will be real messy.

Apply the Old Mexican cheese ball to crackers, slices of melon, a friend’s face, or your fingers, and ENJOY!


***My comments….. Only H. Midgley could have concocted a recipe and turned it into a great, funny read!   And another great football party, tailgate recipe!  I hope you enjoy this, the recipe and the concept of the presentation of the recipe, as much as we all did.   Thank you, Mr. Midgley, and I hope you are enjoying the mountains!


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